i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you would pick up someone in the library
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
