Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
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She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
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Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How does it feel to date your dad?