Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
