You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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