Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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