found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The uberlube is also flammable
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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