You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
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That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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