God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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