I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
birth control should be required to get into college
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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