She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
