So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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