we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
