Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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