two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize