your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
