I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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