Your tits are I can't wait for
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
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well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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