I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
