I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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