honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
