so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
