Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
