i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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