i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
