cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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