new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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