Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
