We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
