Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
