I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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