Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
