My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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