it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
