your room smells of hookers.
And success
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
