You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
