Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
