omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
