dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize