oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
