Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
