i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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