Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize