Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
