She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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