I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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