its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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