my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
