It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
