I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
