You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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