I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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