You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
