so that wasnt chicken after all
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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