YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
