yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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