Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
