my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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