Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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