if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
im holly from the hills drunk
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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