So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
