And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
