I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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