My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.