Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dating After Heartbreak
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen