In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.