It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
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So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
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id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD