i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Sext me about skeletons
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