i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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