I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
